


Kama'aina

by bachlava



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Halloween, Holidays, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-21
Updated: 2011-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-14 23:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bachlava/pseuds/bachlava
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twelve times Steve McGarrett saw Danny becoming at home in Hawai'i.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kama'aina

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted as a sequence of ficlets for a Twelve Days of Christmas theme, but it needn't necessarily be read as holiday fic _per se_.

  
_    
_   
**I. Hala Kahiki**   


_February 23, 2011_

 _  
_

Five-0’s dress uniforms had come in within three months of the team’s formation, and Steve’s had immediately gone into his closet and stayed there, still in its garment bag. His dress blues were Navy, full stop. Sure, he was investigating things with civilian cops now, but his role was tied to his military perspective. A good number of the unit’s ongoing, active cases shared naval jurisdiction, and that was the way it would stay. Besides, he was still in the reserves. But to Grace Williams, he was a policeman and always had been. So for her first communion, he sucked it up and put on the new uniform, relieved to discover that it didn’t need repairs or alterations. 

  
Chin Ho whistled appreciatively when he came by Steve’s house. “Lookin’ good, McGarrett!”

“You know, Chin, maybe I’ll just drive myself.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll never be able to park that land yacht,” Kono said. “And don’t complain about getting the backseat, either.”

“Did you hear me complain?”

“No, and I want to keep it that way. Fasten your seatbelt... I hope Grace likes her dress.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“Grace was going to wear the dress her grandma passed on to her godmother, Danny’s sister, but it’s a winter dress, and she’d bake to death here.”

“Is that Danny’s assessment of the situation?” Steve asked.

“Of course it is,” Chin said. “She might be a little too warm in it, but not hyperthermia warm.”

“Good luck convincing Danny of that.”

“Exactly. So Kono here-”

“-hooked them up with my aunt who’s a seamstress, and she made one up in time. Very Hawai’ian; I’m not sure if it’s what Grace is used to.”

“She’s a little girl. It’s a dress. What’s not to like?”

Kono rolled her eyes. “Men are such idiots sometimes... I can’t imagine not being able to have anyone from my family at something that was so important to me, you know?”

Chin laughed. “You’ve got more family than I do, cuz! If you went to Antarctica, you’d wind up related to the penguins.”

“Hey, don’t knock it. Penguins are pretty cool.”

Chin Ho found parking easily enough, the way he always seemed to; one day, they’d have to ask how he did it. Danny was waiting in front of the church steps and waved to them. “Hey. Thanks for coming, you guys.”

“My pleasure,” said Steve. “How come you’re out here and not with Grace?”

Danny grimaced. “They kicked the parents and godparents out. Too much hovering.”

Inside, there was half of one of the front rows reserved for the family of Grace Williams. Rachel was already at one end of it, there for family’s sake, Steve supposed, since this whole thing was really Danny’s bag. He sat next to her. “So. Come here often?” he asked.

“Weddings and funerals. You?”

“About the same.” He couldn’t remember if any had been in this particular church, which was Hawaaian-style airy white with blue accents and had a name that didn’t stand out. He passed Rachel one of the little books.“I’m a guy. I’m not allowed to look at the instruction manual.”

Another grimace from Danny. “It’s called a missal. And not like the ones you fire at people, so don’t get any ideas.”

“Hold fire until church is over. Ten-four.”

“You should be right at home here. Notice the stained-glass window?”

“That’s... Adam and Eve?” Steve ventured, feeling fairly confident.

“Notice the forbidden fruit.”

“A pineapple?”

“A pineapple, which doesn’t even grow on a tree.”

“The plants can get pretty big.”

“But they can never get to be trees.”

Steve halfway wanted to press the point, but instead, he gave Danny a friendly punch in the arm. “Hey, Chin’s getting video of this whole thing. Is her grandma back in Jersey going to freak out about the pineapples?”

“All eyes will be on Gracie. She’ll never know the difference.” Danny grinned, and then he blinked quickly. “Wait ’til you see Grace.”

Steve passed him a handkerchief. “I’m sure she’s beautiful. And it’s your daughter, Danno. You officially get a pass on acting manly.”

“Gee, your validation makes all the difference,” Danny said, but he still took the handkerchief, and made enough use of it that Steve hoped he’d never get it back.

 

  

**II. Honu**  


 _May 6, 2011_

 

Steve hadn’t spent too much time in the company of mules, but he had it on excellent authority that they were incredibly stubborn. He thought that Danny could give them a run for their money, though, and he bet that mules were easier to deal with. They didn’t expect a response when they brayed, and if you were really desperate, you could probably coax them along with carrots. The same couldn’t be said for Danny, who was unreasonably attached to his shoebox apartment. “C’mon, at least check this other one out,” he said, feeling like he was pleading. “It’s got fifty percent more floor space from this one, and the extra rent is what, twenty dollars a month?”

“How do you know what my rent is?”

“I checked the listing for a vacant unit in this building. Hawai’i’s expensive, but it’s not that expensive.”

“Yeah, Honolulu’s real estate is the one thing cheaper than what I’m used to. For a bachelor pad, this one is palatial.”

“That’s just sad. You can’t tell me you don’t want a bigger palace.”

“No. I don’t. What would I do with the extra space?”

“You’d have it, is the point. More room to breathe.”

“There’s plenty of oxygen here when you’re not around. The only thing I’d do with the spare acreage is have to sink time and money into the upkeep. No thank you.”

“My God, you’re lazy.”

“No, my non-work priorities are just saner than yours. I don’t get nostalgic pretending that some drill sergeant’s screaming at me to polished the entire bathroom to surgical cleanliness with a toothbrush or it’s extra drills for the whole unit. There are other things that I prefer to do.”

“Like what, surf?”

“Basketball, now that my knee’s better. Baseball, too. Hell, rearranging the furniture. Keeping your place in order is like flossing your teeth: you do it because it’s necessary and beneficial, not as a leisure activity.” 

Steve decided that it wasn’t an argument worth finishing. “Whatever, man. But if you change your mind, you still let me know.”

“Believe me, I’ll remember your mother’s friend’s daughter is there to help with the real estate. Why do you care so much?”

“Well, I’ve been spending a lot more time around here, for one thing.”

“I’ve been spending more time around your place, and I haven’t told you to seal off the empty bedrooms.”

Okay, that was fair. Steve conceded as much to Danny, who gave him a little smile. “Maybe I’ll think about it one day, but for right now, I am very, very sick of moving. I mean, from the two-bedroom to a cheap hotel to a studio to this place in less than three years... I’ve had enough, man.”

“I can understand that.”

“Can you? You’ve been nowhere but on the move for what, twelve years?”

Steve considered that. There was a lot of mental baggage stored in his current house, that was for sure. “I don’t if I really understand it, but it makes sense.”

“Exactly. We make sense of each other.” The coffee machine pinged. “And right now, it would make sense to the pour that. Let me show you my new drink coasters.”

“I didn’t know you had old drink coasters.”

“I did back in Jersey, but they weren’t worth packing up. And here...”

“You’ve had other things to take care of.”

“Nah, I was just moping. Feeling sorry for myself and being lazy.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, brah. I’ve seen guys who could handle Special Ops jobs that - well, you would believe me if I told you, but you’d wish you didn’t. They dealt with the worst shit you could imagine all the time, day in and day out, but they kept it together okay until their wives left, and they just fell apart. Just lost it completely, wound up getting discharged.”

“Well, I’ve got a lot less shit to deal with.”

“Maybe, but you gave your wife a hell of a lot less reason for leaving. And believe me, I know you gave her some.” That was about as much heart-to-heart as Steve was good for, and from the way Danny was squirming, he probably felt the same. “So show me the drink coasters.”

“Just two of them.” Danny retrieved a pair of uneven clay things faintly glazed in pale green. “Grace made a set in art class and gave one pair to Rachel, one to me.”

“Are they...” He squinted at the coasters, which were mostly blob-shaped except for a few indentations and points. “...turtles?”

Danny beamed. “Oh, these are not just any turtles. These are none other than green sea turtles.”

“Oh, yeah! They like to nest on Punalu‘u, over on the Big Island.”

“I know that. I also know, thanks to Grace’s science project, that they primarily feed on seagrass, can live to eighty, and are endangered due to poaching and habitat loss. It’s really depressing.”

“And that their shells and markings aren’t actually green.”

“Hey, creative license. You’ve got to love the coasters.”

“Oh, I love them.”

 

  

 **  
III. Moa Wahine   
  
**   
_August 19, 2011_

 

Steve had sat through his share of boring ceremonial events in the Navy, and he was pleased to find that his skill in tolerating them translated well to civilian settings. Danny was evidently less used to them, or at least less used to dealing with them in an orderly fashion. “Remind me again why this has to be such a goddamn production?” he whispered.

“I thought you liked big productions.”

“Ceremonies? No, they're for family. Religious holidays, life events, that kind of thing. We should not get herded into HPD’s conference room to celebrate the fact that an arrest was made.” 

Only loosely under Five-0’s aegis, which was why they could get away with sitting at the back of an audience that was already chattering and inattentive. Steve wanted to sigh. “We need to make nice, Danny. A lot of people see cock fighting as an expression of culture.”

“A lot of people see  _Real Housewives of Orange County_  as an expression of culture. That doesn’t make it a valid belief.”

“I’m not arguing with your premise, just explaining the reason behind the rigamarole.”

Danny groaned. “We busted some people for cruelty to animals. Why do we get rewarded with cruelty to humans?”

“The speech is a little nauseating,” Steve conceded. It was being given by one of the leaders in the little community on the land that Ben Bass owned - well, land he’d signed over to them, actually - which made Steve wonder whether the group had just banned speeches early on. “And I wish they’d just picked Hawai’ian or English, not both.”

“My vote would be for Hawai’an.”

“So you wouldn’t understand it?”

“Exactly. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very nice that they took the hens off our hands and spared us the paperwork with Animal Services, but they can’t be that excited about having a source of nice fresh eggs.”

“Oh, so you know that eggs aren’t manufactured in refrigerated twelve-packs?”

“You learn new things every day. I had actually been under the impression that they were made and dyed in Easter egg factories, but apparently I was wrong. But I am aware that whatever the vice-chair of the the local Humane Society is about to say and restitution recipients or no, they are not thrilled about playing long-term host to a dozen irremediably aggressive roosters.” 

“Fighting cocks. They’re called fighting cocks.”

“If I were in middle school, that fact alone would make this more endurable.”

“Oh yeah?” Steve grinned.

“Actually, no. Forget I said anything.”

Steve leaned over and whispered in Danny’s ear. “I’m taking you back to my place after this.”

“We’re going back to work after this. In my car, I would add, which I will be driving.”

“You’ll be distracted all afternoon. Because after work, we’re going to go back to my place-”

“What do you have against my place?”

“-and we’re going to drink beer and tell every joke we would have made here if we were teenagers. And then we’re going to take our clothes off and see how many we can actually get through.”

“Shut up. I want to be able to stand up when this is over so we can get the hell out of here. Which has nothing to do with being eager to spend more time with you, so don’t get any ideas.”

“Too late for that, brah. You just start working on ideas of your own.”

“What, you think I’m unimaginative? I’ve got plenty of ideas.”

“I bet you do.”

“You are one vain son of a bitch, McGarrett, do you know that?”

“I hear it all the time. Cocky, too.”

“Stop it with the bad puns, and I might just be able to live with that.” Danny spared him a quick leer, and Steve found himself increasingly willing to admit that having to sit through this little entr’acte was as awful as Danny made it sound.

 

  

 **IV. Manu Mele  **

 _November 21, 2011_

 _  
_

“Hey, Steve, put my phone down for a minute. Chin will work out the bugs when he’s back from his meeting.”

“I’m not working the bugs out. I’m just trying to identify what features you’ll need explained to you at inopportune times, so I can plan ahead.” Which was a lie: he was flipping through ringtones, and gave himself away by accidentally hitting the entry for the number Grace used: high, chiming bells. “Nice choice.”

“It suits Gracie. Listen, I want to talk to you about Chin Ho.”

“What about him?” Besides that he’d probably picked out the dirge-like toll assigned to the Law Firm of Ocampo and Wallner. 

“Well, as of his meeting’s conclusion, he’ll officially be back on HPD’s good side.”

“Right.” “Unbelievable” for Rachel - progress, Steve supposed.

“So you need to understand what that means.”

“Huh?”

Danny sighed. “Steve, put the phone down. Don’t pick anything else up. Look at me and sit still... Okay. Listen to me.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’ve seen how these things go. On paper, everything is great for Chin. His name’s clear, he gets back pay and benefits, he can liaise between Five-0 and HPD. Sounds good, right?”

“Yeah.”

“But in practice, it’s not going to be so easy. Just he’s officially cleared doesn’t mean any cops have to change their minds about whether he’s dirty. And once they’ve been persuaded that one of their own is dirty, it is really, really, really hard to make them admit they were wrong. A large portion of them will never be willing to admit it. And they’re going to pass the word on to the rookies they train.”

“So you’re saying things won’t necessarily get easier for Chin.”

Danny nodded. “In some ways, they’ll get harder. Plenty of cops will resent the fact that he’s getting police compensation for the time he spent as a rubber gun when they were out there doing the work, taking the risks.”

“That’s absurd! He wouldn’t have been out of the game-”

Danny put up a hand to stop him. “I know. I know that much better than you, in fact. But I also know how these things work, because I’ve seen it happen before. Chin has seen it before too, but there’s nothing to prepare a guy for having it actually hit home. And you need to be ready for that fact.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“So what do I need to do?”

“That’ll depend on what the assholes at HPD do with their resentment, and how Chin and Kono handle it. On what Chin winds up needing from us.”

“In other words, there’s no way to get ready for it.”

“You can think things through, try to map things out in your ahead. But beyond that, not really.”

“Right.” Steve picked up the phone again, wanting something to do with his hands. Not wanting to contemplate the fact that this was the kind of situation he had no aptitude for dealing with.

“Just stay flexible, and don’t overreact. And that’s ‘overreact’ by my standards, not whatever crazy SEAL ones you have in place.”

“And you’ll hit me with a tranquilizer dart otherwise?”

“Very funny... now hand over my phone.”

“If you don’t want me knowing what ringtone you have for me-”

“Oh, you’ve got the only one you could have. Village People, ‘In the Navy.’”

“You’re kidding.”

“See for yourself.”

Steve scrolled through the menu and proved Danny’s word. “Was this your idea or Chin’s?”

Danny laughed. “That one’s all you, babe. The song was recorded, you were born, and at some point the twain must meet.”

“‘Twain?’”

The goddamn phone cut Danny off, Steve picking up for him. “McGarrett, on Danny’s phone... Oh man, Chin, we have got to talk.”

“Next you’re getting Hello Kitty stickers on your desk,” Danny said, sounding like he meant it.

“I’ll fire you.”

“You need me too much. Give me the phone.” Steve handed it over. “Chin, how’d it go? ...Congratulations, man, that’s great news.”

Steve crossed his fingers and hoped the news was good enough to spare his desk.

 

  

  
**V. Komo Kula**   


_February 15, 2012_

 _  
_

Chin Ho was looking notably serious on Wednesday morning, like he was making an effort not to grin really big. Steve noticed it as soon as he’d had ascertained that coffee was available. “So did something awful happen, or did you just have an extra-happy Valentine’s Day?” Steve asked.

“Discretion is the name of the game,” Chin said.

“Steve, you should interrogate him. He won’t say anything to me either, which either means some nefarious plan of his is about to come to fruition, or he got laid in really epic fashion last night with someone we both know.”

“Was it Jenny?” Steve asked. “She’s hot, but getting it on with our secretary-”

“You have filthy minds, gentlemen,” was all Chin would say. Danny needled him on and off about it all morning, threatening to call Kono in the middle of her testifying, but he didn’t get anywhere. Steve mentally extended the possibilities to Mariko, Gloria, and Kalea given her marital woes, and maybe Hannah if the rumor about open relationships was true. He’d have gone for Mariko himself, but he’d peg Gloria as more Chin’s type personality-wise - unless Chin had just wanted a booty call, in which case he couldn’t say. 

He let the question occupy the sliver of his mind that wasn’t focused on work until Kono called mid-day to tell them that the defense had barely cross-examined her and she was done testifying, and what did they want from Ekewaka’s? Danny surprised him so much by actually being able to name a particular dish offhand that he forgot all about Chin’s potential tryst, and then he was too distracted by the prospect of one of Ekewaka’s plate lunches. It was hard not to be, and it got harder when he caught a whiff of whichever obscenely indulgent thing Danny had allowed himself to order because Lent was starting next week. Whatever it was got served first, before everyone else could help themselves to a bite or ten, which didn’t allow Steve to turn around in time to actually see Danny slap his forehead and say, “Kono, fuck me!”

“Even less a possibility right now, Detective Williams,” Kono said, and Danny unceremoniously shoved the carry-out bag onto Steve’s desk in order to examine... a diamond ring, glinting on Kono’s finger. “Ben proposed last night?”

“And I said yes,” Kono beamed. “I didn’t want him to get a ring, but this was his mother’s.”

“Congratulations, Kono,” Steve said, and Kono allowed him to hug her - hell, hugged him back. “Ben is a terrific guy.”

“Even I think he’s probably good enough for you,” Chin agreed. “But I still want some payback for the ribbing I took from these two to stay quiet all morning.”

Kono grinned too sweetly to be trusted. “Don’t worry, cuz. They’re going to help with the bachelorette party.”

 

  

  
**VI. Nene**   


_May 19, 2012_

 _  
_

Steve opened his eyes to what he was sure was a miracle: Danny awake before he was. “Is the world ending or something?” he asked.

“Maybe, if this place isn’t spick and span by the time my parents show up.”

“Danny, relax. It’s at least adequately clean even by my standards, which will probably shock your parents enough to constitute a medical concern.”

“I think your mere presence automatically constitutes a medical concern. Get up, I need to change the sheets.”

“You own a change of sheets?”

“I need to wash this set. There's probably explosive residue on them or something, just from you being here. You haven’t touched the ones for the fold-out couch, have you?”

“No. Your parents really are more than welcome to stay at my place, Danny. I’d love to have them.”

“I already told you, they’re staying with me. Unless you think this isn’t good enough for them?”

“You know I don’t think that. My place has more room, is all I’m saying.”

“We’ve already got it planned out. Mom and Dad get the bed, Grace gets the fold-out, which she thinks is the coolest thing in the world. I just hope the novelty doesn’t wear off before the end of the week.”

“Rachel didn’t give you any trouble about that?”

“No, she’s been surprisingly nice about the whole thing. Grace doesn’t get to see that set of grandparents very often.” Danny had stressed about taking a whole week off work, in the middle of a big case, no less, but Steve had ultimately talked him into it. Or maybe he’d just provided a kind of permission Danny felt he needed. They’d both seen cops work their families away, or, better, they’d each been on one end of the equation. Danny could persuade himself not to make all the same mistakes again. As it was, he let out a long breath he’d been holding and said, “Meanwhile, I get a sleeping bag that Kamekona’s lending me.”

“Which, unrolled, is probably bigger than this entire apartment.”

“It’s probably bigger than your house, babe. Maybe I should take the bed. Oh, and again, maybe you should get out of it.”

“All right, I’m up.” Steve pulled himself out of bed and stretched. “What do you need me to do?”

“Just put the sheets in the laundry basket. And be on call to get them at the airport, depending on which flights open up stand-by. I’ve already told Rachel you might pick up Grace, depending on how long this interview goes.”

“You sure you don’t want me to handle it for you?”

Danny sighed. “Believe me, I would love to have you handle it for me. But we’ve already established that I do best with kids, so we need for me to be on this one.”

“I know.” Steve put a hand on his shoulder. “You gonna be okay to see Grace and your parents afterwards?”

“After this, I’ll need to see them. Christ, I hate it when the witnesses are kids... You need to bust your ass on every other aspect of this case, because we do not want to need them to testify in court.”

“You know I always do.”

“I do know. But I also know that you absolutely need to avoid going off doing  _anything_  on your own here and screwing up anything procedural and costing us the case. You need Kono or ideally Chin Ho with you on every tiny ant-size step of the way, all right?”

“I know that. Danny. You’re taking a week off for your family, and your mind needs to be on them.”

“Okay.” Danny shook his head as if to clear it. “So you should try to greet my parents as Mr. and Mrs. Williams, but if you slip into ‘Aunt’ and ‘Uncle,’ they won’t be offended.”

“I can remember Mr. and Mrs. Williams.”

“I hope so. Don’t talk to them about sniper training or wet work or all the times you’ve gotten me shot at. Don’t talk about things you’ve blown up, either. Just keep it conversational: ‘Mr. Williams, Mrs. Williams, welcome to Hawaii. Admitted to the union as its fiftieth state in 1959, Hawai’i consists of four larger and four smaller volcanic islands which form the easternmost point of the Polynesian triangle. The state capital is Honolulu, the state flower is the hibiscus, and the state bird is the Hawaiian goose-”

“It’s called a nene.”

“-which is pathetic, because who has fucking geese for a state emblem?”

“Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey for the U.S. national emblem.”

“Thus proving my point, because a turkey is not a goose, and also he got outvoted. You know the damn things are one of the closest relatives of the Canada goose?”

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

“You've obviously been away from the mainland for too long. The Canada goose, McGarrett, is one of the most disgusting creatures in existence. Back in Jersey, I worked on a few cross-border cases, and one of the Canadian guys told me our neighbors to the north call them  _ratons du ciel_  - ”

“Call them what?”

“Sky rats, and actively encourage Americans to shoot them. Their profusion is Mother Nature’s revenge for decimating their natural predators, and let me tell you, revenge is a brutal bitch.”

“Should I be taking notes on what to tell your parents?”

Danny rolled his eyes but was prevented from speaking by the tinny eruption of “Catch a Wave” from his nightstand: Kono Kalakaua calling. “Kono, what’s up? ...They did? ...Has the DA okayed it? ...Yeah, the initial statements are enough. Call the parents and let them know. ...Thanks. You too.” He put the phone down. “The suspects in custody flipped on each other.”

“So you’re off the hook for today?”

“Those kids are off the hook for any more trauma, is the main thing. But I should be able to meet Mom and Dad.”

“You could even re-clean your whole apartment before then.”

“If I put any more wax and polish on the floor, somebody really will wind up in the hospital. I bought groceries yesterday, worked out before you woke up-”

“Who are you, and what have you done with my partner?”

“And now I’m going to reset the alarm for ten and get back in bed.”

“So you are Danny Williams. Congratulations.”

“Oh, I don’t plan on sleeping.”

“You don’t?”

“Not right away. Back to bed for you too, Commander.”

“Gee, I’d love to, but will you have time to wash and dry your sheets?”

“Shut up. If I don’t, you’re buying me a new set. I think you owe me one anyway.”

“Dude, there’s no way I owe you new sheets.”

“Then get working on it,” Danny said, and he turned down the covers.

 

  

 **  
VII. 'Aukai _  
_**

_October 6, 2012_

 _  
_

Grace’s first swim meet of the season fell on one of Danny’s weekends with her, so of course the whole team was in the bleachers to cheer her on. Chin and Kono were an hour late on the theory, amply illustrated by this case, that these things never started less than an hour late. They’d both thought to bring reading material to pass the time, too: some highly technical computer magazine in Chin’s case, and a bridal one in Kono’s. Steve gave up on trying to pay attention to the under-sevens race, although he gave props to Danny for at least pretending. “Any new technologies of use to us, Officer Kelly?” he asked.

“Not really. There are some monitor upgrades that look neat, but it would be hard to call them necessary.”

“And how’s the wedding planning coming along?”

“We settled on a beach wedding,” Kono said, sounding distracted and not looking up from her magazine, “but that means everything actually needs to run on schedule so the rain’s not a problem, or else just rent gigantic tents and turn it into an all-day thing.”

“Trust me, it’ll turn itself into an all-day thing,” Danny offered. “Don’t even try to fight it - oh, eight-to-tens! Grace is in the pink suit.”

“That’s really helpful, Danno,” Steve said. “Any other distinguishing features, like arms attached to her shoulders or something?”

“Very funny. She’s in lane seven.”

Grace wasn’t the fastest swimmer in her group, which wasn’t surprising: most of the girls had grown up by the ocean. Having access to a private pool starting in first grade, no matter how much Danny fretted about home pools being just as dangerous, wasn’t going to make up the difference. Danny cheered like  _that_  would, as if Grace could even hear him over the splashing and the crowd, and he got Kono into it along with him. As it was, Grace put in respectable times and actually got third place in the backstroke.

Kono dragged Chin off on wedding-related errands after they’d congratulated Grace, but Kamekona’s for the rest of them was a foregone conclusion. Steve had the privilege of holding Grace’s ribbon while she ate her coconut cream-bubble gum-cotton candy cone with unaffected delight. Danny looked like he was going to vomit when she ordered, but he didn’t comment, just accepted the rainbow of Kamekona’s choosing. “Maybe you ought to get your daughter a present, after her big race today,” he suggested. “T-shirt might make a nice suit cover-up for when she’s building sand castles.”

Steve handed over the money before Danny could prevent him, although he did manage to groan. “Just as long as she wears sunblock and brings plenty of water,” he said. “And makes sure her stretch of beach is free of urchins and washed-up jellyfish, and keeps her eye on the tsunami warnings.”

Grace nodded. “I check for jellyfish, Daddy. And I never go in the water when the lifeguard says it’s dangerous.”

Danny opened his mouth, Steve would have bet any amount of money to say that it was  _always_  dangerous, but he changed his mind and smiled instead. “You just be careful, honey. Keep practicing your swimming when someone’s there to keep an eye on you.”

“I will.”

“That’s good. And-”

“Hey,” Kamekona broke in, “why don’t I get a picture of you three? Holding Grace’s ribbon up high and all that?”

Danny fished out his phone and tapped it into camera mode. “Good idea.”

 

  

  
**VIII. Waiū**   


_November 30, 2012_

 _  
_

Danny wasn’t packing much for a quick trip to the mainland - more than Navy regulations would have countenanced, sure, but this probably wasn’t a good time to bring that up. It wasn’t a good time for Danny to bring his family’s Christmas presents, either, although it would have been a lot simpler and saved him on shipping. At least last-minute tickets were cheap the week after Thanksgiving, before Christmas travel got into swing. Danny had mentioned that, then said he felt bad even thinking about money. Steve hadn’t known what to say, so he’d just gone with “I’m sorry about your grandpa.”

And right now, he didn’t know what to do, apart from watch Danny pack. “Don’t forget pyjamas,” he said. 

“I’ll have to borrow my brother’s. I don’t have winter ones anymore.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh... I didn’t even ask Rachel about bringing Grace.”

“Surely she would have let-”

“Oh, she would have. Probably paid for the ticket, too. Grace just doesn’t remember ever meeting him. Which has nothing to do with Hawaii, I just only brought her when she was a baby, and by that time Grandpa Pete didn’t recognize any of his grandkids, let alone her.”

“I’m sorry.”

Danny didn’t seem to hear him. “He was a great grandpa when we were growing up. Great stories... He started out as a milkman, same as his dad, but then everyone got refrigerators and he wound up delivering to stores instead of houses. He was always bitching about how store-bought milk was like water, hardly worth drinking.”

“Of course.”

“Yeah.” Danny quirked a little smile. “They’d always let him sample the unpasteurized stuff at the dairy, but my grandma made him stop. Good thing, too, because some people he knew wound up getting brucellosis later on.”

“Now I see where you get your tendency to worry. Believe me, palm trees and swimming are a lot safer than drinking unpasteurized milk.”

“It is until you’re the person to get hit by a falling coconut. Although if it’s between getting killed that way or winding up like Grandpa Pete, sign me up for death by coconut. Or any food-borne illness Grandma might have saved him from, for that matter.”

“Hey, come here,” Steve said, and he crushed Danny into his arms, kissed his head. “Don’t talk like that, okay? You’re going to be fine.” As if he could make promises about how someone’s health would hold forty, fifty, sixty years down the line. “I’ve got you, man. It’s okay.”

Danny made a noise like he was going to argue, so Steve held him tighter. “Shh. Get in bed, okay? I’ll get the rest of your stuff together for you. Just get under the covers. I’ll be there in a minute.”

He made quicker work of it than Danny probably would have, too. The Navy way of ordering anyone else’s life was more efficient than the civilian approach to ordering your own. Steve kept that thought to himself, though, just satisfied himself that everything was as it needed to be and then stepped into the kitchen, returning with a glass of warm milk. “Here. It’s supposed to help you sleep.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Drink it anyway. You never know,” Steve said. By the time he’d brushed his teeth and put the day’s clothes in the laundry basket, Danny had taken a few sips. “Feel ready to tumble into the arms of Morpheus?”

“Well, not so much Morpheus.” Danny patted the part of the mattress that he wasn’t occupying, and Steve slid under the covers and kissed him. “Love you, Danno.”

“Love you too,” Danny said, and snuggled up next to him. That wasn’t the same as falling asleep, but Steve figured it was a decent start.

 

  

  
**IX. Hula**   


_March 1, 2013_

 _  
_

Steve was pretty sure, in some corner of his mind, that it was conduct unbecoming to be this drunk while he was in uniform, in public. A more prominent corner of his mind, however, was impressed with notions of honor and not looking like a haole wuss in front of... other wedding guests. Male wedding guests who were tough and rugged and lived off the land, like- 

“Jesus  _Christ_ , Steve, would you  _shut the fuck up?_ ” Danny said. “You cannot have any more of whatever the fuck this is. Gentlemen! Commander Steve McGarrett, Hawaii Five-0, Navy SEALs - ”

“With special commendations-”

“With SEAL commendations for being a macho, macho, macho man, is a candy-ass haole who gets drunk under the table by six-year-old girls.”

“Goes through his system like that, you oughtta hold his dick while he pees,” some asshole called out.

“That is an excellent suggestion, Mr. -”

“Hoalpili.”

“Mr. Hoalpili. Kono’s uncle, no doubt. We are all the lovely Ms. Kalakaua’s uncles, except for Steve McGarrett, who is her boss.”

“Navy SEAL.”

“Can he balance a ball on his nose?” one of Kono’s other uncles, or whoever, asked.

Okay, he couldn’t let that one stand, even if it was a party. “Sea, Air, and Land-”

Danny elbowed him in the ribs. “He can indeed! Toss him a fish when he’s sober, and he’ll catch it in his mouth. At the moment, however, he’s capable of very little.” And Danny, somehow, pulled him away from the table before Steve could prevent him. “Time to go home. The happy couple is off on their honeymoon, the mother of the bride is too tired to beam any more, and we should probably get out of here before HPD gets called in to break up the after-party.”

“I’ve got immunity and means-”

“Look, dancing girls!”

“Where?”

“This way.”

He followed Danny to a secluded little grove. “Where are they?”

“There are no dancing girls, Steve. We’re just going to stay here, out of plain sight and out of the way, until I sober up enough to drive us both home. Sit down before I shoot you, and no, you do not currently have the reflexes or coordination to stop me.”

Steve complied, although a few tree roots gave him a hard time about it. “So no dancing girls. Okay.”

“And you’re not going to hold it against me in any way, shape, or form, because it is Kono’s wedding and that’s how it works. No arguments allowed there, either,” he added, holding up a hand as if to preempt them.

“Does that mean I don’t get to not tell you what I was going tell you?”

“What - that doesn’t even make any sense.”

“Sure it makes sense.”

Danny sighed heavily. “Then explain it to me.”

“So Catherine and this guy she’s seeing are getting serious, talking about maybe taking it exclusive for a while.”

“Weddings all around, huh?”

“I don’t know if it's  _weddings_ , but you know. Giving it a try.”

“So you don’t get to have any fun when she’s in town next week.”

“No, that’s not it, man. She’s got to have a good time, get it out of her system before she tries the whole just-Trevor thing.”

“So you get to call in sick and have a lot of fun.”

“Dude, I never call in sick. But you’re invited.”

“Excuse me?”

“Catherine’s request. You gonna say no to a lady?”

“Let me get this straight.”

“Not really.”

“Shut up. Catherine Rollins, Special Navy Whatever, has requested my assistance-”

“In helping getting her fucked to Timbuktu and back next week when she’s in town.”

Danny shook his head. “Leaving aside the appalling grammar and questionable geographic metaphors-”

“Danny, I cannot believe that even you-”

“I am inclined to question whether you’re being serious, regardless of your degree of inebriation.”

“You think I’m lying to you?”

“I think it’s a distinct possibility, yes.”

“Fuck that, man. I’m calling her right now.”

“No, you are not-”

“Catherine! Glad I caught you. I’m putting Danny on the line.”

Danny gave him a sour look. “If you’re being serious, far be it from Danny Williams to decline the request of a lady.”

“Never mind, I’m not putting him on the line... Yeah, I’m a little drunk.”

Danny grabbed the phone from him. “Ms. Rollins? ...Kono’s wedding, yes. ...Yes, I might think you were kidding if I didn’t know you better... After work next Wednesday sounds great... You too.” He hung up the phone. “We have a date, Commander McGarrett. If it’s good enough, I might - might - even retroactively forgive you for throwing up in my car.”

“I never-”

“Contingency planning. You’d better sober up enough for a practice round tonight, too.”

Steve let himself be hauled to his feet. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 

  

  
**X. Lele Koke**   


_June 10, 2013_

 _  
_

Steve hadn’t known everything about naval intelligence after five years of working in it, or everything about the Navy after being in its academy for four. Nonetheless, in retrospect he’d been secure in all the major elements of each after those intervals. Whereas three years into being a cop - and, okay, that was more or less what he was at this point - witnesses’ stories, and suspects and their alibis, still surprised him with dismaying frequency. “I don’t know which is crazier,” he said, in between pieces of sushi, “this guy’s story, or the fact that he might be telling the truth.”

“You’re telling me that there are actually wallabies in Hawaii,” Danny said, a flat-voiced question.

“They don’t hang out here in Kapiolani Park, but there’s a handful. Some rich idiot let his exotic pets escape back in the 1920s.”

“And their elusive few descendants are occasionally spotted leaping around Kalihi.”

“Google it if you don’t believe me.”

Danny turned his attention to his phone and spent a few minutes pressing buttons and whatnot. “Okay, I believe you,” he said. “And I thought west Honolulu’s rec team just liked the name.”

“Nope, they’ve got a local name just like yours.”

“A tree kangaroo is way less local than a - Hawaiian owl thing I can’t pronounce.”

“Pueo? You probably pronounce it just fine, but they like making you say ‘Hawaiian short-eared tree owl.’”

“Well, you’ve got to get your laughs in somehow. Preferably at the haole’s expense.”

“Hey, some people say after seven years here, you’re kama’aina. If they’re right, you’re at the halfway mark.”

“Because I can pronounce an owl and think it’s a better team mascot?”

“Well, it's a start. Although I'm not sure a wallaby isn't the better mascot."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Well, owls fly, right? They don’t jump.”

“What an astounding insight, McGarrett. I never would have realized it on my own... You know, if anyone had tried that alibi back in Jersey-”

“You’d think he was faking insanity and suspect him.”

“Right in one. Speaking of basketball, my knee’s been flaring up less, so I’ll probably play this Saturday.”

“How? You’re still short.”

Danny gave him a punch in the arm. “I’m a point guard. Being short helps.”

“Wait, isn’t this your weekend with Grace?”

“It was, but we switched and now I’ve got next weekend.”

“What, you switched for a basketball game?”

“No, not for a basketball game, you jackass. Grace just needs to be with her mom right now.”

“Is everything okay with Rachel?”

“Rachel’s fine.” Danny sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Grace just... she’s taken a step on the journey into womanhood, as the health teachers used to say.”

“Oh.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Grace is only ten.”

“Almost eleven. Younger than average, but within normal parameters. Same age as Rachel.” He ran his hands through his hair again. “She’s growing up so fast. Just so goddamn fast.”

“She’s a great kid.”

“I know she is. Thanks... Anyway, it’s great. She’s healthy, she’ll be able to have a family of her own fifteen or twenty years down the road if she wants one, and in the mean time I will personally eviscerate any approaching male who isn’t either family or elso so flamingly gay that the mere mention of his name can set off smoke alarms. Except Kono and my sisters say not to make a big deal of it with Grace, so I’ll be requesting time off to deal with the bodies while she’s at school.”

“So I’ll be seeing less of you, and none of Grace.”

“Of course you’ll be seeing Grace,” Danny said, as if Steve were a complete moron.

“Danny, I hate to break this to you, because I like Grace a lot, regardless of the nature of our relationship, the mere mention of my name cannot, in fact, set of smoke detectors.”

This time the look on Danny’s face was enough to get across his opinion of Steve’s intelligence. Danny being Danny, that didn’t stop him from giving voice to it: “Of course it can't, you idiot.”

Steve grinned. "Right. Of course not."

 

  

 **XI. 'Ohe Ka'eke'eke**  

 _October 25, 2013_

 _  
_

Steve’s phone rang twice while he was trying to get his goddamn Halloween decorations up. He had no interest whatsoever in them, but putting them out was just easier than listen to Mrs. Anderson scold him for his lack of community spirit every time he ran into her, especially if she managed to pass her apparently contagious malcontent to any of his other neighbors. Normally he didn’t do Halloween, turned the lights out and didn’t answer the door, but apparently that was no longer allowed. Next year, he decided, he would either pay one of Kamekona’s brothers to do the job for him, or else have Mrs. Anderson taken out, which would be more complicated but probably a lot more satisfying.

He got to the phone in time for the third call, which was from Danny. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Not much. Grace’s school concert just finished, and I thought I’d see if you needed a hand with the decorations.”

Steve didn’t like to admit needing help, but the alternative in this case was probably getting crushed to death by rubber spiders. “I wouldn’t mind it,” he said. “Pick up some beer on your way over, okay?”

“Will do. I’ll see you in half an hour.”

Danny arrived a few minutes early, carrying beer and a bottle of whiskey. “The concert was that bad, huh?” Steve asked.

“Well, Grace’s choir actually requires auditions and practice, so the only problem was the cheesy Halloween songs-”

“Halloween songs?”

“The less you know, the better. The real horror was listening to a bunch of unpracticed eleven-year-olds trying to get through songs on what are supposed to be traditional Hawaiian pipe things.”

“Supposed to be?”

“Let’s put it this way: If Kawika and his boys ever get ahold of the video, the music director’s going to get a very painful lesson about respecting Hawaiian culture. Actually, I should make sure they do get ahold of it, to spare the next sixth grade’s parents.”

“Maybe I’ll throw one of these at her,” Steve suggested, brandishing a rubber tarantula.

Danny winced. “Put that away or I’m not helping.”

“Consider it gone.” Steve smushed the thing under a cushion. “Come on and help me get paper bats lined up.”

“Didn’t you get the memo? Bats are not scary anymore. They’re cute and ecological, and all the terrifying things we believe about them completely false.”

“Does the same go for sharks and jellyfish?”

“No, because those actually do eat and sting people... Okay, we’re going to make them fruit bats that are eating the cardboard pumpkins, thereby enabling next year’s jack-o-lanterns to grow.”

“You spend too much time helping Grace with her homework.”

“And reading to her.  _Stellaluna?_  That’s adorable.”

“Whatever, man. I’ll take your word for it, just hold this ghost thingie while I get it attached to the window frame.”

Danny obliged him. “What are you doing in terms of candy?”

“Candy?”

“Yes, candy. Sweet foodstuffs, unhealthy to consume in large quantities but a highly enjoyable treat, traditionally distributed from a basket to costumed children who knock on your door the evening of October 31.”

“I was just going to get whatever’s at the store when I do the week’s grocery shopping.”

“Tell me you’re not serious.”

“Why, is that a major strategic error or something?”

“Okay, let me explain something to you. If you wait until right before Halloween and just go to the grocery store, the only candy left will be fun-size bags of candy corn and maybe -  _maybe,_  if you’re really lucky - Starbursts that are past their expiration date and can’t even be eaten by goats. You will get your house and your car pelted with rotten eggs that will take decades to clean up. And no, you cannot use your SEAL training or immunity and means to get around it, I guarantee you.”

“On what basis?”

“Well, it never stopped any kid I knew from doing the same thing, and I grew up in an area where you expected to get shot at. So you and me, right now, are going to take measures to prevent that.”

“Such as?”

“Such as going to an actual store that sells reasonable candy and buying said candy. I am driving, I am choosing the candy, I am forcing you to pay for said candy and then keep it under lock and key so that I can’t get at until after Halloween, at which point the leftovers are fair game. Don’t argue, just get in the car.”

“What do I get in return for compliance?”

“Definitely not any Reese’s Cups or Almond Joys that might happen to be left over, so don’t even fucking think about it.”

“That’s the stick. Where’s the carrot?”

“It’s Halloween. You cannot get your phallic metaphors mixed up with actual, healthy, naturally occurring vegetables.”

“Okay, so that’s the expired Starburst or whatever.”

“Exactly. No candy metaphors for what you’re actually getting.”

“I’m trying valiantly not to think of Kisses.”

Danny grinned. “Of course. I promise, you’re getting better than that.”

  

 **XII. Kūpaloloi**  

 _December 25, 2013_

 _  
_

Steve rolled into the parking lot late, and it took forever to find a space that his car would actually fit into, but of course Danny wasn’t waiting at the entrance like he was supposed to be. Helping spread Christmas cheer throughout a children’s hospital seemed like the kind of thing that might run late, but he was still frustrated. 

Chin Ho, riding with him, looked serene as ever, which Steve thought should be impossible while sitting in front of an overgrown, overenthusiastic German shepherd who was confused about present circumstances. “You must be bummed she didn’t get through the K-9 trials,” Steve said. “All that training you did.”

Chin shrugged. “They’ll assign another dog. And she got through the trials just fine, brah.”

Right, Chin could be a little touchy about that. “Heat endurance problems. My bad. Are you sure we shouldn’t just send her to the Cleveland PD?” That was the default for heat failures, as they’d kept reminding Kono, although Steve remained unconvinced that any handler could work well with a dog who made that much noise when not absolutely required to be silent. He liked dogs just fine, but there had to be rules.

Chin would have disagreed, apparently, because he said, “Why’d I send this nice dog to Cleveland? The heat’s okay if she can dig a hole somewhere shady. She just can’t work in it on call. Can you, girl?”

Brunhilde - Brunhilde, of all things - who had figured out that she wasn’t on duty, leaned forward to have her ears scratched and lick Chin’s face. “Don’t let her wag her tail too much. I don’t want her breaking the windows,” said Steve.

“No worries! They’ve survived your driving so far, haven’t they?”

Steve sighed. “Whatever. I’m going to go look for Danny, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

Timing was on his side; just as he was making his way to the lobby, Danny and Grace emerged from the stairwell, carrying, respectively, a folded-up Santa suit and what looked like some kind of elf costume, complete with pointy ears and a little elf-sized drum thing. “Hey, Grace, mele Kalikimaka!” he called out.

“You too, Uncle Steve,” Grace said, sounding tired. She yawned as Steve hugged her.

“You get worn out being an elf?” he asked.

“It’s hard work, being the best elf in the place,” Danny said. “But she did an outstanding job.”

“How was midnight Mass?”

“Good,” said Grace, “but it was long, and we had to get up early for this.”

Rachel stepped into the atrium - Danny had been unfair to guess that she wouldn’t give the driver Christmas off, it looked like. He and Rachel at least didn’t seem angry with each other as they exchanged greetings and handed off costumes. “I promise, you will get this suit back, Daniel,” Rachel said. “Grace, Mummy won’t be the least offended if you want to open your presents on Boxing Day.”

Grace nodded. “I want to go to sleep. But I want to meet the dog-”

“You’ll have plenty of chances to meet her,” Steve said. “Right now, you can go and get some rest.”

There was a final exchange of thanks and kisses, and then Danny followed Steve out to the car. “You have a good morning?” he asked.

“I slept late for the both of us, looks like.” Or the three of them, since Chin had been up half the night entertaining various nieces and nephews. “You get to share the back seat with Brunhilde, by the way.”

“That’s fine by me. I like Brunhilde.”

In the car, Danny and Chin exchanged  _Mele Kalikimakas_  and fist-bumps, and the dog leaned over Danny to look out the window. “She’s gonna be so happy in the beach community,” Danny said. “All those kids to run around with.”

“She’ll be a good protection dog,” Steve said. “That’s never a bad thing to have.”

“It’s not going to be too soon after Laulima died?” Danny asked.

“Laulima?” Steve wondered if he’d heard right. “She named that madam’s powderpuff Laulima?”

“Three years my cousin had that dog, and you couldn’t even learn his name?”

“She chose it because the woman agreed to cooperate once Kono brought the dog into things,” Danny supplied.

“I figured, but that’s an optimistic take on the situation.”

“You know cuz’ never would have let it be put down! That dog was her practice kid. And this one’s going to be her and Ben’s practice kid.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know any of that at the time.”

“Neither did that old bitch, which was the point. And you’re hardly one to talk,” Danny said.

The one to talk, apparently, was the dog, who started making noise once they were on the highway. Danny more or less encouraged it, thumping her on the back in a way she seemed to like, and Chin twisted around in his seat to scratch her ears more. “Don’t tell me you would have done that with a K-9 dog,” Steve half-shouted above the racket.

“Not on duty,” Chin said cheerfully.

The drive seemed to take longer than usual, but they got there eventually. The place was happy chaos - kids splashing around and screaming, people making music and roasting food outside; the kind of situation that Brunhilde was well trained to take in calmly. She licked Ben’s hand and sniffed the air as he retrieved Kono under the pretense of Chin’s needing help with the car. Steve took it as a good sign that the dog stayed perfectly composed even when Kono, seeing her, squealed like a kid and jumped in the air. “She’s really staying here?” Kono said.

“She really is,” Steve confirmed. “Mele Kalikimaka, Kono.”

“Mahalo.” She hugged him, and then Chin and Danny, like she was trying to break ribs, and then got down to eye level with Brunhilde. “Welcome home! Oh, that's a good girl... Are you my baby?”

“If she is, I think you should at least give her a new name,” Ben said.

“She definitely should,” Danny agreed. “It’s up to you, of course, but I’ve been calling her Haole.”

**Author's Note:**

>  _Hawaii Five-0_ is all CBS'; no claim or commerce here.
> 
>    
> Image credits (livejournal): anuminis, hobbitholes, burningchaos, babycin, mignolagraphics, wuschel2nozzo, ery_90, fleetwoodicons, froggy_freek, phemie, lucre_noin, nadioz, anuminis, bluebraid, zequins, oxoniensis, (stock), oxoniensis, hermette, pink_simplicity, burningchaos, faye_dartmouth, food_stillness, anuminis, kalena_henden, followthebliss, ery_90, bmshipper_arts, prelude_of_dawn, anuminis, cash82, thescrapbox, bmshipper_arts, burningchoas, sunlitdays, quiet_graphix.
> 
>  
> 
> Division heading translations, if you're curious and don't want to guess based on the theme: _pineapple, turtle, hen, call, gold ring, goose, swim, milk, dance, leap, pipe, drum._


End file.
